Life Hacks part 2

Here is the second installation of that awesome thread, archived here for your eyes. Again, not sure if any of these true, so some confirmation would be nice.

Water/natural gas meter reader here. I’m the guy tromping through your backyard and looking in those mysterious boxes in your yard. If your dog is nice, he’ll get a milk bone and some petting. If he tries to bite me, he’ll get maced. I do my best to keep unleashed dogs in their yard, but if one gets free I’m only going to spend five minutes chasing after him.

If you park your car on top of the meter so I can’t open it, I take last month’s usage and double it for this month.

Abandoned houses don’t get their meters read. Feel free to use their water. If you don’t pay your water bill, they cut it off by turning a valve inside the meter box and locking it. Nobody can tell if you cut the lock off with bolt cutters and turn it back on yourself. As long as you dispose of the lock and don’t fuck up the meter they will just assume the service guys slacked off and didn’t do their job.

If you have a water leak outside of your house, call city hall and they’ll send a crew to take care of it.

Night time Receptionist here:

Call your hotel personally if you’re looking for vacancies for the same day and haggle! if there’s a room free, youll get it for much cheaper.

-Broke? Cant afford our overpriced garbage? Then buy this
“Ice blended strawberry water” A large “venti” only costs $0.35, and it comes with whip cream if you want

Here’s how it works: Waitresses don’t fuck with the chef. If they do, their orders get fucked up/burned/cold.

If waitresses are bros to the chef, their orders get precedence, and extra attention.

They go to great lengths to convey if someone liked the food because good food gives good tips.

So if you really did like food, leave an extra buck (on top of the normal tip, jackass), tell the waitress, “My compliments to the chef”, and come back the same time next week, and you are on your way to getting preferential treatment.

– If you’re drunk/high on whatever and you get stopped by the cops (walking around or whatever), DON’T say ANYTHING along the lines of “well I’d just rather be dead” or “I’ll just go off myself, who cares.” You then come under protective custody, come to the ER, and have to be under observation until a county medical health provider comes in to see you. Can take between 18 and 72 hours for them to arrive. No, you can’t leave, you lost your rights at that point.

Worked at a furniture store.

If you buy furniture from a big store and they try to con you into buying the fabric stain protection shit, don’t do it; it’s a complete scam. Not only is the stuff basically just water, but if it’s a really busy day, the guys in the back room that help load your furniture will just cut the box open that your furniture is in and claim that they sprayed it earlier in the day and it already dried so the customers don’t get suspicious.

If you want stain guard shit, buy it somewhere else and apply it yourself. You can get shit online for a fraction of the cost of what the furniture store would charge, and it actually works.

You can get a chicken and cheese quesadilla with salsa if you ask for it nicely enough and come in while it’s slow. Dont drink the sodas. Well, to be honest this is not so much with chick fil a as it is with any joint that sells fountain drinks. The pipes are impossible to clean, so shit (sometimes literally) gets in there and it can’t get out except through the other end, which is where you get your drink. Say, an employee goes twosies and doesn’t wash his hands afterwards, then connects the soda syrup pipe which gets replaced 2-3 times a day, to the pipe that meets the carbonated water. Now say that same employee does that 10 times a week. He is directly touching with his shitty hands what your drink is going to be running through.

Call any chick-fil-a and tell them when you got home with your food you found a hair in your sammich, then enjoy your next meal on the house.

Mcdonalds (I don’t work there but know a few)
Ask for no ice in your Sweet Tea, you will get more
Ask for no salt on your frech fries, you will get fresh fries
Ask for well done meat, you will get your hamburger right off the grill

Utterly unrelated but someone on /mu/ brought this band up and I really like them. Give them a try eh? still too much of a noob to be able to insert this video. Oh well.

Seacrest out.


  • About the Author

    Juan Soto enjoys reading mangas over watching animes, listening to what pleases me, majoring in Int'l Economic Policy with concentration in german, loves soccer, and plays video games for the story and not the the challenge. Yes, he is casual.

  • Comments

    3 Responses to “Life Hacks part 2”
    1. avatar Id says:

      I know the cop thing is true. They are required to detain anyone who shows signs of being a danger to anyone or themselves.

    2. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation
      but I find this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand.
      It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

    3. avatar eFOoc0uJ says:

      96957 249978Hello, Neat post. There

    Speak Your Mind

    Tell us what you're thinking...
    and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

    You must be logged in to post a comment.